My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me almost three weeks ago. He was ignoring me and didn’t want to talk about anything, just made it very clear that it was indeed over and that he was moving out. Of course, I’ve been crushed. I admit, it was my decisions that ultimately ended the relationship but of course it’s never entirely one person’s fault.
Anyway, I’ve been doing my best to try to stay distracted and not call or text him (hasn’t gone all that well, honestly). Somehow, we got onto the subject of how we were both super horny. The conversation went on and he came over yesterday on his lunch break even though I told him not to. It was hard to resist when I saw him, I told him repeatedly that it wasn’t going to make it any easier for me to move on if we slept together but we ended up doing it anyway and naturally, it was amazing.
He went back to work, and for some reason my texts weren’t coming in so I restarted my phone and a flood of texts from him came in, seemingly frantic, that I wasn’t going to talk to him anymore. I told him what happened and the same things were said, that it wasn’t going to be helpful in the moving on process to sleep together but he ended up coming back over in the evening. Again, it was amazing. We always had a really healthy and great sex life, so it was nice to at least have that part of him.
Afterwards, I kept dropping “okay, you can go now..” statements (like, well it’s been fun and thanks for coming by) but he just stayed and kept talking to me for an hour, telling me everything that has happened in the three weeks he was gone.
He’s gotten a house with an engaged couple and is signing the new lease and moving out of our house this weekend. He kept saying all these things that he didn’t like about them and how he felt uncomfortable around them (he doesn’t know either of them well, but he’s a mechanic and so is the other guy so they’ve got that in common at least). I just don’t know why he would tell me that.
He also kept asking if I was going to be okay with what happened and that I can always text him if I need to talk or anything.. I didn’t really know what to say. I don’t see the point in ever staying friends with an ex, unless you intended on keeping something going.
Sorry for the novel, I just don’t know what to do. I want to be with him and he knows that and I think this is just false hope that we’ll get back together. We haven’t talked about getting back together really at all. He’s obviously using me for sex but I really enjoy it (the sex, not being used). Should I break it off completely? I find it would be impossible to truly move on, which he says he’s doing, if we’re still sleeping together and seeing each other. Any advice is really appreciated.
Honey child… This is nothing but friends with benefits.
You two were together for five years, and are used to being around each other. That’s why he is telling you what is going on in his life. He’s used to telling you these things. Obviously, he does not have anybody else to talk to. With that being said, he also does not want to have a relationship with you. He’s living with other people and has not expressed that he wants to be with you again. When a man wants to be with you, he makes it known. You don’t have to guess or wonder.
To answer your question, yes, you should break it off with him completely. He is using you as a sex toy and giving you nothing in return. He has sex with you, complains about his day, and leaves. Is that what you are looking for? No? Well, shut him out completely.