If you are anything like me, you know the holidays are a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because you are off from work… hopefully. It’s a curse because you have to deal with your family… ALL of them. But if you follow these tips, you can survive.
Situation #1: As soon as you walk into your mother’s house… BAM! Drunk uncle aka “Drunkle.” He’s touchy. He’s feely. His breath smells like pure alcohol and desperation.
So how do you get past him? One word… Swerve
Situation #2: Everyone is sitting around chit chatting, having a great time. You think you won’t get asked that question this year. The person (your Auntie) who usually asks that question is across the room. You smile to yourself. Then suddenly you hear someone yell, “So when you’re gonna get married?” You die a little on the inside. How do you handle this situation?
You want to do this.
But instead you say, “I’m waiting on the Lord to find me the perfect man. I don’t want to rush into a marriage like some people.” Then walk away with a smirk on your face.
Situation #3: The food is almost done. Everyone is starting to head towards the kitchen. Your petty, messy Auntie decides to take a cheap shot at her cousin that stole her boyfriend in middle school, calling her a ho. Your auntie sitting back like this…
What do you do? You divert everyone’s attention back to the food, while your grandmother fusses at your auntie for being messy. “I can’t wait to taste this dressing and gravy.” Everyone’s attention is back on the food, since they have been waiting 6 hours for it to be done.
Situation #4: Speaking of grown folk’s business.
“When you finally old enough to be in grown folks business &get asked your opinion.” @KhaosOfficial (Twitter)
You are so tempted to gossip and state your opinion on other people’s affairs. Please don’t do this, especially if it’s someone who is sitting 6 feet from you. Gossiping is addictive. Once you start, it’s HARD to stop. Gossiping breaks up marriages and friendships. Don’t get sucked in.
Situation #5: Everyone has stuffed themselves. They are ready to leave with the leftover plates they made. Then you hear your mother say, “Who’s gonna clean all these dishes?” What do you do? Only one answer…
LOL I hope you enjoyed this. Eat lots of good food and be thankful for getting to see another year.
If you’d like to contact me, you can email me at AskJanaLeigh@yahoo.com.