I am 32 and in a long distance relationship with a guy for over a month now. I really like him and can see a future together, and in fact have even discussed a possible future during several conversations. We talk everyday and have visited each other 4 times now but have had multiple dates over those visits so, have gotten to know each other a great deal. On our last visit, he professed his love for me and I reciprocated. However, on that same visit, we bumped into his friends a couple of times and on both occasions, I was introduced only by first name(i.e., no title). He calls me his girlfriend and confesses his love for me in person and in private, but I am left wondering if it is just too soon to expect it or if I should take the lack of a title as a sign.

This letter is from 9/16/15 from the Strawberry Letter archive.

**blank stare**

Lady… it’s only been a month.  Pump the brakes.  I wouldn’t put a title on a relationship until 3-6 months of dating.  Since you are in a long distance relationship, I’d wait six months or more just to be sure this is what I want.  You two may talk to each other every day, but you are not around each other every day.  He could tell you anything over the phone.  Hell, he could make up all kinds of things because he knows you can’t check them out to see if it’s true.  I’m not saying he’s a liar or a bad person, but a month in a long distance relationship is not nearly enough time to really know someone.

Just be patient and let things flow naturally.  Why are you rushing?

Your question makes me think of what Chris Rock said in his stand up routine: “When you first starting dating someone, you’re not dating them.  You’re dating their representative.” People like to put their best foot forward when they start dating.  The bad habits come out months later.  That’s what you should wait for before I defined anything.

Be patient.

~Good luck to you

Ok Readers…. What do you think?  Does he sound suspicious?

Advertisements