Hello Readers! This letter comes from the Strawberry Letters archive on 2/1/16.
I am a 21 year old girl I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 months and just recently found out I was having a baby. About a month ago my boyfriend asked if his female best friend can come stay with us for 2 weeks. Even though I never heard of her before I said yes because I trusted him and I wasn’t worried about anything between them. About 3 days into her being there I came home to find my boyfriend laying down with the best friend but he jumped up because he didn’t want me to think anything was going on. We didn’t talk for a few days but eventually we ended up talking I asked him if they have ever had feelings for each other. He said no. I asked if they ever did anything sexual or said anything sexual to each other drunk or sober and he said no. So I had no choice but to believe him. Fast forward to a week and me and the best friend was watching tv. she ended up falling asleep and just so happen her phone was out in plain sight. I grabbed it and with through the text messages between her and my boyfriend. I seen how when he went home for new years, he was drunk and asked her if he can take it there with her sexual but he didn’t wanna ruin the friendship they had. And she basically was giving him the green light to do whatever cause it wouldn’t ruin anything. I seen in the messages that he had feelings for her back in the day, and I also found out he was paying for her to get her hair done and is paying her phone bill right now. I’m not staying in my own house because she is there and it’s very hard for me to be in my own house at this point. I don’t know if he loves or cares for me I need your help
Signed young pregnant and confused
Don’t let these low lives run you from your own home. Go home and put them both out! If you have a shared lease with your boyfriend and can’t afford to pay rent on your own, then move out. Move back in with your family if you have to. Just get out of that situation. That is not the type of environment to raise a baby in. This is not just about you now.
You were right to be suspicious when he asked you to let this woman move in. A woman that you never heard of, but she’s his best friend. Nope. All lies! You should know all of his friends. Now you find out he is paying her bills and trying to sleep with her. Plus, he lied to you about having feelings for her. What more proof do you need? When is enough, enough? He has broken your trust, disrespected your relationship and your house. To answer your question, he doesn’t love you. I know that is hard to hear, but it must be said.
He may care for you, but he doesn’t love you enough to be faithful to you. He doesn’t love you enough to tell you the truth. He doesn’t love you enough to respect your relationship. Is that the type of love you want? I don’t. I’m sure you don’t either. It’s time to go home and clean house. Or pack up and leave, if that’s what you have decided. Talk to your boyfriend first, if you are afraid he may get angry, then meet him in a public place or bring a friend/family member along to sit close by when you tell him the jig is up. He can tell his “best friend” to move out, or you can call her personally. Tell your child’s father that you will see him in court for child support. He will be a part of your child’s life, but boundaries need to be set.
Readers, what do you think she should do? This is a bit complicated because she is pregnant by her boyfriend. She’ll have to stay in touch with him. This guy must have balls of steel to move in his side-chick.
If anyone has a question you would like for me to answer, you can email me at AskJanaLeigh@yahoo.com.
**Photo credit: kimwaggoner.com