This letter comes from the Strawberry Letters archive, which you can find here.

for the past 9 months I’ve been sleeping with a friend from school. Over these months we’ve gotten really close. He’s been the man in my life my confidant. Im starting to have feelings of love. Well on the last 2 months hes been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Hes been going through hell but Ive been there for him.he has a two year old son and after being diagnosed he proposed to his sons mother….I was upset but didnt show it. After finding this out i still sleep with him we still converse daily. What do u do when you know loving someone will hurt.

Dear LW,

I hate to break this to you, but he only sees you as a FWB (friends with benefits). He may confide in you, but that doesn’t mean he sees you as his woman.  At this point, you are a side piece.  I hate that you are hurting. I know you are crushed by this situation. Use this as a learning experience. Next time be up front with a guy that you like. Let him know that you have feelings for him and ask how he feels about you.

To be honest, I don’t think you’re the FWB type of woman. You become attached, which is a No No. Then again it’s hard to not catch feelings when you’re spending so much time with someone. Don’t worry. I’m the same way.  I stay away from FWB situations. It’s like saying, “I’m going to date you, but leave you the first change I get.” Nobody wants that.

Going forward, I would stop having sex with the friend. All it is doing is hurting you more. I would stop seeing him so much. If he wants to marry his child’s mother, then he can confide in her. Sticking around in this situation will devastate you. You deserve a man who is thoughtful, kind, and only wants YOU.

Good luck.

~Jana Leigh

Readers, what do you think? Should she stick around since he is sick?

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