This letter comes from Dear Prudence at Slate magazine, which you can find here.
I’m a 25-year-old woman getting married in the summer. My mother is very old-fashioned and proper, and does not believe in sex before marriage. She also believes that my husband and I are virgins and will remain that way until our wedding night. Both of us have been sexually active since high school! My older sister told me that my mom is planning on giving me a sex talk and explaining how everything works and “how to please a man” before my wedding. I would like nothing less than to listen to my mother explain sex to me, but I’m worried she’ll be angry if I tell her I’m not a virgin. What should I do?
Dear LW (letter writer),
I’m not gonna lie. This letter made me giggle… a lot. I can’t imagine being in your shoes. That could be because my mom and I don’t have the best relationship, so I don’t mind telling her that I don’t want to hear it.
You’re 25 years old. What do you think will happen if you tell her that you don’t want to have the sex talk? I doubt if she abandons you. If she gets mad, she’ll get over it. I’m so curious to hear what she has to say about pleasing a man, just so I can laugh about it later. Then again, she may teach me a thing or two. She is not my mother, so it wouldn’t be the same. If my mom sat me down and talked about pleasing a man, I’d puke.
Yes, this would be a very awkward situation for you. Please, feel free to just tell her (nicely) that you don’t want to hear about the birds and the bees. I mean, you’re 25, I am sure you know where babies come from. She should realize this. Also remember that you don’t have to tell your mom (or anyone) about your sex life. That is private. If she pushes the issue, walk away. Come up with some excuse to get away from her. Go run an errand. Make a phone call. Whatever. This time should be spent focusing on your upcoming marriage and your future, not mom-daughter sex talk.
Anyway, I hope this helps you. Congrats on your upcoming marriage.
Readers, has this happened to any of you? My mom gave me the sex talk when I was in high school. It was very awkward. She was uncomfortable. I was very uncomfortable. I didn’t have the balls to tell her that I learned about it in Health class already. Can you imagine being this old and having a sex talk with your mom? lol Please comment below if you have anything to add.
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