This letter comes from Dear Prudence at Slate magazine, which you can click on here.

Last night I was at a BBQ with my kids and husband. I am a biracial woman (black/Chinese) raised by white parents. My uncle (mother’s brother) is VERY racist; he makes Donald Trump look like Bernie Sanders. That is how bad it is. Usually, I don’t see him, but he made an appearance this year. For the whole night, he kept making snide remarks about my background to other relatives (which I was hearing secondhand as they would run up and tell me after the fact instead of stopping him). I pretty much just ignored it, until he said something about my daughter. After saying she probably wasn’t my daughter since she doesn’t look like a n—-r, my husband and I both lost it, but my husband got there first and punched him. The police were called, my husband was cited (no arrests) and Uncle left. This morning I have a barrage of texts and voice mails saying my husband needs to apologize and make up with Uncle. I am ready to be done with my family all together. Thoughts?

Dear LW,

APOLOGIZE??? WTH! They should be apologizing to you and your family! He deserved to be punched along with all of your cowardly relatives. This pisses me off. They came up to you to tell you what he said, but did not stop his racist rant? If they tolerate racist talk at family functions, what else do they tolerate? He insulted a helpless child! They should be outraged.

This is not a healthy environment for you and your kids. I say cut all ties with these people. If I were you, I would send out a group text to all of them and tell them how they let you and your kids down by not having your back. They should be ashamed of themselves. Then, block all of their numbers. But that’s just me. You can cut ties however you see fit.

Good luck to you.

~Jana Leigh

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