I have yet another fun letter from Dear E. Jean at Elle magazine. Many women (and men) can identify with this lady on some level. That’s why I chose this letter. Enjoy.
I’m 25, tall, curvy, not ugly, and a painter. I have good friends and a wonderful boyfriend, but for three years now I have stalked the beautiful girl my ex-boyfriend dumped me for. I have long, long let go of any feelings for my ex-boyfriend. She’s the one I can’t shake.
I’m embarrassed by it. I don’t want to be this kind of woman! I check her Instagram and Facebook multiple times throughout the day. Although I have never met her, I feel my insecurities mount with each glimpse into her life. It doesn’t help that she’s one of those super-skinny types with perfect bone structure and a busy social life. So every time I see a new photo she posts of herself, I fall a little inside. This whole cycle of checking on her makes me feel small, mentally weak, and incompetent. How do I break it? —Seeking Your Spiritual Guidance
I can totally relate… somewhat. I’m pretty sure others can, too. Once when an ex dumped me, I stalked his page and his new girlfriend’s page on Facebook for a couple of months. They ended up getting married after dating for a few months and created a joint Facebook account. They seemed to be having a great life. I was a bit jealous. She was pretty and slim. She looked like the pretty “girl-next-door type.” I was jealous of the life they had together. I wanted that life with him.
Fortunately, I reminded myself how jealousy can ruin your life. I promised myself years ago that I would not be a jealous person. Jealousy will not get you the things you want. You cannot move forward in YOUR life if you are constantly focusing on other people. It just won’t work. Accept what is. Once I accepted that he was married and moved on, I checked their Facebook pages less and less. I reminded myself how awesome I am every day without fail. I found things that I like about myself and wrote them down. I stopped comparing my life to theirs, because we’re on totally different paths. Forget them! I want to make MY life awesome! I started setting goals for myself. Some goals were: going out and meeting new people, finding a new hobby (mine was jewelry making), and going out with friends more often. I kept myself busy. Soon I had no desire to check their pages on Facebook. I even forgot about them.
I hope this has helped you in some way. Let your ex and his new lady do their own thing. Focus on you.
Peeps, have you stalked an ex on social media? Or found out an ex stalked you? Comment below.
Don’t forget to like, comment, share, and subscribe! I love reading comments and emails from you guys. If you have a question that you’d like for me to answer, you can contact me at AskJanaLeigh@gmail.com. Questions will be answered anonymously.
**Photo Credit: LovePanky